You and I are both seeing other people right now. You have a girlfriend now. I have a boyfriend now. Your girlfriend knows that we were very good friends. My boyfriend knows absolutely nothing about you, and I honestly want it to stay that way. Your girlfriend is a huge sweetheart, and y'all have been dating for over a year now. She is pretty much the exact opposite of me too. She's a pageant girl, while I was more wrapped up in softball and every sport that I could possibly manage to watch. She's two years younger than I am, which makes her three years younger than you. She's pretty, and just about always has her hair and make-up done. I, on the other hand, am lucky to make it class with bobby pins in my hair to keep the flyaways down from the bun in my hair, and of course, I very seldom wear makeup. She's gonna end up being a sorority girl, and I am the farthest thing from one. So how could she and I manage to ever love the same man?
(The last that y'all reading had heard, I had deleted his phone number, Facebook, and address, and thrown away everything that I had of his. Except the shirts, of course. I have moved further south from where I was originally living when I started this blog. We now have almost eight hours, and a time change, in between us, compared to the two we started out with.)
You and I spent five hours talking on the phone tonight... Talking about everything. From children's names to our deepest fears, and the things we want to do in life.
You still remember every little detail of my life that I've told you. My favorite color. Where I want to go on my honeymoon. The things in Europe that I want to see. My favorite MLB player. My favorite candy. The clothes that you wore on the first night that we hung out. And. You remember everything about the night that you gave me your shirt. You said that you recall it almost perfectly. I barely remember some parts though, even though I have replayed that night in my mind a hundred thousand times. You remembered that you were really mad for some reason that night. (Neither of us can remember why you were mad though.) I never imagined that you would remember that. Or anything from that night, to be honest. I'm kind of at a loss. I thought that I was so over you. But obviously not. The past was brought up a lot when we were talking tonight. A lot more than I wanted it to be. We've talked more to each other the past few days that we have to our significant others. It worries me some. I'll get over it eventually though. At least, I think I will.
I also told you about everything tonight. Everything as in the fact that I really, really liked you when you lived in my hometown during high school. Everything as in the fact that I really, really, really liked you when you came into town to celebrate my graduation from high school. I told you about the qualities that I love that you have. (None of my reasons were on that list though...) I told you about how everything started simply from the fact that you have a great sense of humor. I told you that the fact that you listened to me and did the little things is the reason I continued to have feelings for you.
Do you know what you did this week?
You bought and sent me a cord to connect my iPad to my stereo system so that I can play movies on it. Without me even asking. And I offered to pay you back. But, you refused many, many times.
It makes me wonder if I made a mistake all that time ago letting you leave out of my life... Would we be dating each other right now, or would things be the same as they had always been?
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